While I Watched You Dying

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While I watched you dying
I drew a portrait of myself
Years I was trapped gasping
and crying and knowing you
helped me live with myself

The way this offer feels I just
might accept it. Comfort can’t
be felt nor the pain,
And promises I seek from those
who would pay me no attention.

Cracked leather
and knotted pine
the scent of cedar
from an open chest
My head
on your lap as I wake
No one could get me
when you were near

One breath separates me from you
and the creaking of your rocking chair,
the smell of pine clots my eyes as my
ears wash away regret with turpentine

See me now?
Where are you now
that I’ve been released myself?
All those faces I passed every day
With their ridicule and aggression
streamed past me, swallowed into the
blackest of holes with the sound of your
creaking chair.

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